the world as i see it

pondering

2011-04-07T05:04:00.000-07:00

I always wonder what life would be like if I was famous, homeless, older, dying, or just another person. I work at a hotel and 2 nights a week I do dreadful night shifts. They aren't fun at all. Why?

I'm alone for 8 hours.

Homeless people always come wandering in at some point in the night.

Something always goes wrong with the computer at some point in the night and can't get help until 6:30 when its a reasonable time to call my boss and tell him I broke the computer for the 50th time.

I just eat when I'm bored making me pack on the pounds.

I'm so tired every time I do a shift

If you don't believe me ask my brother-in-law, he can relate also. I don't have consistancy with shifts which is what really messes with my sleeping schedule. Saturday - morning shift, sunday monday afternoon shift and tuesday wednesday are night shifts. Soon I will be going on a 10 day vacay to visit my sister Jen, sister-in-law Teresa, their babies ! and surprise a friend. I booked off my time, got it accepted and then got a phone call. I've been applying to be in the Canadian Forces since September and just got accepted. I got promoted to the rank of Officer Cadet and got phoned seeing if I wanted to do some training. I was sleeping when they called and received the message after they had already closed. I was in Air Cadets for 8 years and no intentions of joining the Forces, but something struck me in September and I really wanted to join, so away went 100+ forms and a whole bunch more paperwork, 2 interviews later, a medical later and alot of talking about myself I got in.

I want to go to this training so badly, but here is the problem. I am going to be working at Alberthead this summer as an officer and that starts June 20th-ish. The training that I want to attend is from May 13 - 22nd. Therefore if I take this trip and do the training I am gone May 3 - 22nd. Thats basically the whole month that I'd have to take off work. I don't know if my boss will really appreciate it. He might not give me my job back when I return, but fingers crossed, a whole lot of praying and I'm wishing that it will happen. My boss is pretty good about giving people time off and giving them what they please. I love my boss. He's the greatest. (OH HEYYY! that is if you ever see this :P ) They will have to find someone anyways to fill my spot when I leave in June and if they start training a girl now or later in the month, she can take my shifts and then be full time during the summer. My job in no means is a labour intesive job at all. I go on the computer, do my english 12 course, watch TV, check people in/out and greet people when they walk in the door. The thing that makes me so tired from it is boredom making me tired. Like I love it that I have so much time, but sometimes its too much time. Like tonight I tried to do my english, but I am just too tired to be reading a big story right now and then writing a paper on it. It's just not going to happen right now. The book I am doing is The Kite Runner. I am the kind of person that only reads books when I'm forced to. I hate reading. Yes, thats right, I hate reading, but this book was AMAZING! If you are searcing for a book to read, by all means PICK UP THIS BOOK AND READ IT! Some parts of it are like, ughh, blah blah blah blah blah, but once you get through it, it's totaly amazing. I'd read it again. I got a little teary eyed also at some parts. I've never cried while reading a book. I don't get how some people can do it. But seriously PICK UP THE BOOK AND READ IT!

So if you're the praying type, please pray that things will fall in place for this training and my trip and that I will get my job back when I come back. Also pray that they will find a suitable person to replace me. We've had quite a few people go through the doors because the job was too difficult for them and way to stressful at times.

hardened hearts

2011-03-30T19:51:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been struggling with my relationship with God. As I posted yesterday it's been quite some time since I've last opened by bible and spent more than 2 seconds reading the bible and praying about problems I face. After doing devotions tonight I decided to read what I had written while I was still in Quebec. January 3, 2010 I made a new years resolution to make my relationship closer to God. I asked him to really put a bug in me to help me stay focused and strong. I guess what they say about temptation is 100% true. It seems that I was going strong, but once I was out of the Bethel Bubble, I hit a brick wall and stopped dead in my tracks. I was amazed by what I actually wrote a year ago. I was so focused on the word, didn't have a care for drinking, seeing people, and just wanted to go out and spread the word to everyone I saw. When at Bethel it was normal to just sit down with people and just share your testimony, talk about the word and pray with everyone there. At the little french church I went to it was normal to just share you feelings, I felt so welcomed by them and open to say anything and not be judged. Being back at home I don't feel comfortable sharing my testimony with many people, don't feel comfortable to just share whatever is on my brain with people in my church, and don't feel comfortable or warm around them.

Lately I've become very shy. I don't know why, what has come over me, but i just feel shy and taken back by everything. A month ago my brother Nick came to town. I was great seeing him. I enjoyed every moment of having a brother in the house and to top it off he brought a niece with him. One of the things he wanted to do here was go to Telkwa to see my Opa and my moms sister and her family. When we were there a cousin of mine was there too. It was so nice seeing them, but then the shy part of me kicked in and I felt out of place. I was playing doctor with 2 almost 4 and a 5 year old and I didn't know what to say. Why? Why would I think that a 3 and a 5 year old would judge me? Why did I think family would judge me? I have no clue. If only I knew that would be great. If i did anything I felt like i was being judged. OKEY HOLD THE BUS. STOP. WHY would my family judge me? Why would i ever think that? It would be great if I knew, but I don't. Its just how my brain functions now.

I talked to my mom about depression a couple months back and said that i wanted to go in and get something that will help me. She told me that it wasn't depression but yet I was just bored all the time. I went on and though, well yeah I do nothing really with my life besides work and maybe sometimes I see a friend, but that's about it. Now that I sit here and reflect on my life, I think I do have a problem with Depression. I don't want to go in and talk to my doctor because I don't feel comfortable with him and when I tried to make an appointment with a different doctor they said that I couldn't because he wasn't my family doctor. I really think I have a problem.

I don't feel comfortable around family and feel like I'm being judged
I don't feel comfortable in my church
I never want to see people and hibernate in my house
I takes me a while to get the courage to seek help or encouragement from friends
I don't want to be in this town or do anything
When i have the courage to talk to someone or ask for advice I turn around and run away

Why do I feel this way? Why am I so shy to open my mouth and say something? I guess I'm like my sister in a way that I'm bad with talking to people, but using a blog helps me express what I'm feeling... Kind of. People say to just pray about it and God will handle it. Just pray pray pray pray pray ! Right now, I need more than just praying. I need someone to be with to talk to that I don't feel like I'm being judged. I always see people that I want to talk to but feel that they are better than I am so therefore I keep my thoughts to myself and don't dare speak to them, but just nod and say hi.

I hope things change and workout for the better, but I guess time is all it will take.

Big man upstairs

2011-03-29T12:44:00.000-07:00

When I was in Quebec I was on such a high "God-moment" as I like to call them. I did devotions every morning or night, depending on what day it was, and was so into the word. When I came back I had high expectations that everything was going to be okey, everything will work out, I'll be strong enough to face all the battles that were ahead of me, temptation wouldn't be an issue, and God would take care of everything. Well 4/5 went according to plan. Maybe this is God's way of showing me, YOO OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE THE WORLD! But I'm not finding it. All the others, well yeah they are an everyday struggle. I've done devotions twice since being back in Terrace. November 28, 2010 and today. Todays devotion was Hebrew 3:7-13.

So, as the Holy Spirit says:
"Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the desert where your fathers tested and tried me and for forty years saw what I did. This is why I was angry with that generation, and I said, 'Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.' So I declared on oath in my anger, 'They shall never enter my rest.'
See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called. Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."

I've been struggling with choices that some friends have made towards me and choices that I have made. I tried to help some friends out, but in return I just got backstabbed and now they don't talk to me. One day they will come crawling back, like they have before, and I know in my heart of hearts I'm going to take them back in a heart beat, WHY?? They cause me so much pain and anger that I can't do it to myself. I've been making poor decisions on my part lately too that would not be considered right in the eye of God. I make the decisions because I'm trying to find who I truly am. It is a lot of trial and error going on, but I trust that God has a plan for me, it just takes time. I have to forgive these friends, even though it will be really tough, but I know that it's what God would want me to do. We've all done it to him countless times. We've left him in the dark, ignored Him, talked ab0ut him in a vulgar way, disobeyed him, and betrayed him too. I can only imagine what kind of feelings he has towards me.

I need to start a new leaf. One thing I loved about Quebec. No one knew who I was, no one knew what I did in my past, No one knew anything about me besides, which they figured out quickly, my name and that I spoke no french. It was great. I loved it. Being back in this town I came back a different person than when I left. I was a "Bible Hugger" as I called them before going to Quebec. People didn't believe that I had changed and they didn't even want to give me the time of day. Nothing. They just ignored me. That hurt me so much that I just fell back into my old ways. Fell back onto the friends that hurt me so many times when I was in high school and fell back into my old ways. Why you may ask? Cause it was my comfort zone.

I'm looking forward to getting out of the town again and moving to Vancouver. My real friends are all down there and some family too :) It wil be hard to adjust again to a new surrounding and new school, but I'm sure it will be easy to pull off. Every one speaks english this time.

backstabbers

2011-03-27T00:48:00.000-07:00

I can't take it anymore. I can't take the backstabbing, the lying, the cheating, the silence.. I'm done. I was such a good friend to them and all I get in return is a stab in the back. Thanks. Thanks for everything. I have so many things i want to say to them, but I can't bring myself to stoop down to their immature levels. I really need to get out of this town. Yes I know that there are people like this every where, but the people in this town are just pressing every single button I have. In this town there is 1 friend that hasn't stabbed me in the back. She's only 17, but is more mature than half the people I'm "friends" with. She's stuck with me through all the bs that went on in highschool and still sticks by my side. Without her I'd be a huge mess. Not like I'm not one right now, but I at least have her. I swear if these so called friends come back and try to apologize and act like nothing happened I'm going flip shit on them.

I'm done.

Encouragement

2011-03-22T20:52:00.000-07:00

Today was rough. Not sure why though. It just was. Then slowly it started to get a better. 1st off, my dad brought me Timmies for supper at work with a Large 2 cream coffee. 2nd - A manager of a Wrigleys company is staying at the hotel I work at and gave me the newest flavor of skittles and starburst. He's a gem. 3rd- A friend from Quebec gave me a really big booster. He's always been there for me lately and it's so nice. I met him when I went to school there. This is what he said.

Go with the strength you have and always remember, you're a princess, daughter
of the God of the universe, never forget who you truely are. You've been set
free of what controls you, you're ment to live for so much more, can't wait to
see what God's plans are for you.

He's amazing. What can I say. I'm glad I met someone like him.

.

2011-03-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

The countdown is on
43 days until freedom
Freedom from work and this town
Freedom from the drama

43 day until I hold a new baby
A new bundle of joy, a nephew
48 days until I hold another
What will it be ? Boy? Girl?

.

2011-03-21T02:47:00.000-07:00

I have a problem
A problem that only i can fix
I know there is a good solution
I don't know where to go

Pills won't help
I'm too scared to tell my feelings
Childish? Only God knows
I wish He was down here

They say to pray
Well that only gets me so far
Just a hug from a loving person will do
But where is this person?

I call a friend, "Whats going on?"
"I just need a hug", but they want more
An explaination, a story
Judgement is surely to follow

Where are the ones that I love at times like these
Phone calls/text messages just don't cut it
I need the warmth and comfort
Only touching can do

I need help
But where to go?
Doctors think they know
Nurses try to help

Expressions I can't describe
Feelings I can't word
They stay coooped up for so long
Only soon to explode

Who will be the victim of my lashing
Who will be the one I hurt
Feelings turn into words
Words into actions

Lord please help me.

.

2011-03-20T02:41:00.000-07:00

You tell yourself to not get attached
but your heart says to
Not wanting to let him in
Only knowing heartbreak is to follow

You wish that things could be different
but knowing your life, failure only follows
Why can't he come around?
A man of dignity with love to give

Maybe I don't look in the right places
My guessing is true
I know he's out there somewhere
I'll just have to wait

.

2011-03-18T15:20:00.001-07:00

You're so young with so much to live for
You do what you want, but never see the consequences
A new guy every week
you wonder why your feelings are so mixed up.

He was my best friend
now just a liar
How can you trust someone like that
has he even be truthful to you?

You say one story
he says another
you get me involved
now i just want out

2 little lines appear on a stick
now you got a little baby
9 months until you hold him
but who will be there for support

I tried to tell you
but you didn't listen
i'll be there for you
we can get through this

can't say i never told you so
he's so furious and tries to fall back on me
your problems are your consequences
don't get mad at me for what you did

you lied to me
you called me vulgar names
you ignore me
and now you want me back

i feel like a piece of dirt
you trample on me
you stomp on me
please leave me alone

move on and leave me behind
its not worth all the pain and suffering

...

2011-03-17T03:41:00.000-07:00

You lay in your bed most nights just thinking.
Is making poems going to be your way of writing
Or maybe writing letters.

I still haven't decided.

I lay here thinking about you
wondering what went wrong
We were so close, but you changed
what did I do to turn you off

Its been 6 months and not even a word
no text, no email, no phone/skype call
nothing
where did I go wrong?

I try to move on but always get stopped by something
the sound of your name, a picture of your face
how could i possible move on?
it feels near impossible right now

I know that I need to get some sleep
but all i can think about is you
the countdown on my wall shows when i leave
hopefully see your face along the way

Changes of that are slim pickings
but who knows what this trip will bring
i hope to see you again someday
or maybe it will just have to be goodbye

I thought I saw a future
but i guess i was wrong
maybe we just need time apart to really think
of how good we would actually be

goodbye my lover
goodbye my friend
you have been the one
you have been the one for me

why sleep WHEN YOU CAN GO TO WALMART?!?

2008-12-23T14:27:00.000-08:00

I did that exact thing. At 1:37 am, my friend ashley and I went trecking to walmart. Why you ask we went? Because we could. We'd mideaswell go when its open! It only happens for a month of the year and then its over. It was fun night. I would post pictures, but I don't have enough room for it and Flikr won't work for me right now. So, pictures are on a halt for a bit. But here is a video. Enjoy!

Why make gingerbread men when you can make gingerbread CADETS?

2008-12-22T10:17:00.000-08:00

... Well Kayla and I did that exact thing. We are such big cadet nerds that everything we do it cadetish. We made gingerbread cadets and a drill hall (it didn't stay together well :( ) But over all it was fun. We had many blonde moments trying to make them like this..

Kayla "We can't make black gloves or black belts now because we don't have black."

Me "I guess we have to make white belts and white gloves"

*we both think for a bit, then look at eachother*

both "AHHHHH!!!" and then gave eachother a high five

Why that is, is because on fancy or special occasions we wear white gloves and white belts to make us look good. So our wonderful thinking made everything go over well. IT was great fun, we made a huge mess, made a double batch but only used half of it. Next time I make gingerbread cadets I'll remember to:

Make a single batch, if you need more, then make more
Hold the gingerbread cadet hall together until the icing drys
When you make a mess at first, clean it up so that it doesn't get bigger
Don't have your boyfriend there.. he puts icing on your face

The shapes are made

Our drill shed is made with cadets in front of it, (The red icing is because we ran out of white, so we had to use the red icing)

mmmm coookies!

we are the only the coolest people ever!

We're finished

What are your gingerbread men going to turn into?

Its to cold when you try to breathe through your nose and it sticks together...

2008-12-20T15:24:00.001-08:00

... In Terrace, when it gets really cold, the lakes freeze up and then we go skating on them in the winter time. Last night we did that thing. We bundled up, hoped into brandons automobile, stopped by Timmy Hoes, and then headed off to the lake. We tied our skates to our feet, well Travis and I did (Brandon had 2 left foot skates), and then took a picture. I ended up with the handicap hat that sticks up when I wear it.

Travis, Me, Mom, Roxanne, Brandon

We were really cold

"Erica, you have the longest arms, can you take a picture of all of us?" Thanks mom =]

Well this one didn't work, due to Roxanne being to short.

Well that was our adventure. It was very fun, but so cold. I think our toes froze off in the end of it, but over all it was fun. Thank goodness Timmy Hoes gives hot drinks to us, because we would of been lost without them.

ugly sweaters, car rides, cold weather, boys...

2008-12-19T14:58:00.000-08:00

... that is my what my world revolves around. Oh and then blasting the music in my moms little car. I love the car. But yes. On wednesday at youth group we had an Ugly sweater/white elephant night. I wore this wonderfully knitted sweater that my teacher owns that his mother-in-law made. Its such an ~~ugly~~ beautiful sweater. I wore his wifes sweater and brandon wore his. One thing someone asked us was, "I can't believe people actually wore these!" I told them with after that, that my teacher still wears the one Brandon is wearing. Its quite Funny.

As you can see, he`s always proud to be wearing his piece of art. At youth group we did a game with the 12 days of christmas. How it went was we were split into the 12 months depending on your birthday month. January - 1st day, February - 2nd day, March - 3rd day, April - 4th day... and so on, so forth. You get the idea I bet. So he played the song and then when you heard your day you were to run into the center and hug everyone and then run back. Look here. it was a very fun night.

They had an Egg Nog Chugging contest

Gingerbread house making contest (it faileed because the icing was to thin)

They put sour keys in a bucket of salt water and then with a candy cane, you had to get them out and the other person had to eat them. Look here

Well there are the ugly sweaters at our youth group and in the end, Brandon and I were the winners of the contest because they felt that we had the ugliest sweaters.

And for all those who wanted a picture of me and my boyfriend Travis, here is one.

video, after video

2008-12-15T08:08:00.000-08:00

after many hours of uploading I finally got the videos on youtube. You have 3 options of what you want to watch. I know, I know hard decision......=]

Krista and I playing a flute duet

In this one I'm playing the high part in We three Kings and then the low part in O Come all ye faithful

Danyka and I singing Only Hope

my wonderful Oreo understanding French

Enjoy!

sorry its been so long...

2008-12-14T14:32:00.000-08:00

... my life is full of wonders. I'm in the play at my school so thats what is going to consume my life and then everything else is like crazzzzzzzy busy. On Thursday the 11th I went to the christmas banquet at my school and sang a song Danyka in grade 8 and played a flute duet with Krista.It was a fun evening. We had dinner, which was a turkey dinner (mmm soooo yummmy), and then dessert, ~~sex~~ heaven in a pan, and then THE DANCE! We all danced our little hearts out. All round it was a great night.

Krista and I got ready at my cousin Raynas house

The girls in my class. We are just missing 3 guys and then we are complete. Sad I know..

Dancing our hearts out!

clark is our man :)

I totally rocked the glasses... nottt

MORE PICTURES!

braam love with krista in the background being jealous

secretly he loves me =)

well yeah there are just a few of 142 pictures that i took. I`m sorry if the video didn`t work. I`ll try and get them on youtube sometime for you.Other news, we got a puppy. His name is Oreo, well you can figure it out from his colours of fur, and he is a smart cookie already. He knows how to not listen and how to sit in french.

I like to call him scruffy and sometimes I wonder if he thinks his name is scruffy insteady of Oreo. Well that is all for now, more later to come

no longer single...

2008-11-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

...Yes i know, me, the little Erica, has a boyfriend. I don't have a picture to show you yet of who he is, but soon you guys will find out. My life has been full of wonders and disappointments. One of the biggest ones is, MY PHONE IS OUT OF MINUTES! I'm ~~dying~~ getting by, so if you're texting me and i'm not replying, that would be why.

I sent out my application for Parole de Vie Bethel and now I'm waiting for a reply from the college seeing if I got accepted. If that doesn't work, maybe I'll go to the University of British Columbia and learn french there. The whole reason why I want to go to Parole de Vie Bethel, is because I want to go to a college to learn french and a bible college, so I figured that I could hit 2 birds with one stone. The only bad thing about it is that I'm going to be far away from Travis and it would cost a lot of money to fly home.

Another plan that I have is to go to Regina, take first year university courses, and live with my sister, who would ~~hate~~ love me to be there 24/7 =]. I have no clue what I'm going to be doing until I get the phone call or else the acceptance letter. My life is so flustered and I wish everything would just come together.

oh and guess what? 25 DAYS UNTIL BRANDON COMES HOME! I haven't seen him since June 28th. Well I was in the same house as him for like 2 hours when I came home from camp, but then Annette came over so I didn't really get to see him, so I'm just saying that I haven't seen him since June. I'm so stoked for Christmas because then Brandon is home and Nick and Teresa are coming up to. It would be better if Jen but i guess you can't get everything for Christmas.

Well now that I'm done whining, I'm going to start doing school work. I got a quiz today so I better get studying.

reba, being sick, failing part 1 of a math test, being sick, and more REBA!...

2008-11-13T11:11:00.000-08:00

... this is basically my week so far. Sorry that I haven't blogged lately, but I haven't really been all into it. Since then I've played volleyball, hurt my shoulder more, and texted a lot of people.. as my sister and mother say, I'm an addict, well at least my mother says it more. I'm watching Reba season 3 right now. My wonderful sister let me borrow all her Reba, thats ALL 4 SEASONS!, and I've been watching them basically everyday. I'm pretty sure my parents ~~hate~~love Reba now. Yesterday I went to the movies and watched Passchendae. It was a really good movie and kinda sad. It was hard to watch in most parts. Over all its a great movie and everyone should watch it. Anyways, Thats all for now. ohhh and.

HAPPY BELATED ANNIVERSARY JEN AND NOAH!!

I love both of you and can't believe that its been 3 years already. miss you and see you soon!

sorry its been quite some time...

2008-11-03T08:21:00.000-08:00

... since i've last blogged, but I've been busy doing stuff and haven't really had the want/will to write. Anyways, since I've last blogged I've had a egg thrown at my leg while walking back from youth group, a fire cracker shot at my van and the cars around me, gone to school, sat in a doctors office for 30 minutes and then the hospital for an hour. Its ~~not~~ FUN. After all of that I haven't found out whats wrong with my shoulder and I have to go to Physiotherapy. Oh what happened to my shoulder? Last year in volleyball we had to do diving lines (its like running lines at school, but you have to dive to each one, meaning hitting the floor for those who don't know about volleyball) and then my arm kinda caught on something and my shoulder popped out and it tore the muscles around the joint in my shoulder. In the picture you can see the white thingy that circled, well yeah, its torn and all gibbled and well yeah. Every time I start to run or go jogging, I get sharp pains going to my shoulder and it causes me great pain and whenever i quickly move my arm, my shoulder pops out (due to nothing really holding it in firmly) and then I'm in deep paint. SO yeah, I'm a gimp basically and it sucks. After I'm done this season of volleyball I have to quit playing volleyball according to the doctor because I'm murdering my body. So far in volleyball I've Sprained 8/10 fingers, destroyed my shoulder and my ankle, and got really sore knees. So yeah, my body isn't in good shape. Anyways, my plans now changed for next year. I want to become a flight attendant, but in order for that to happen I have to be bilingual in 2 languages and there is no way that i'm going to learn all of the asian languages, so i'm going for french since I know quite a bit of french. So I'm planning on moving to Quebec and hopefully go to a school Called Bethal____. I don't remeber, but go to the website and you'll see. Well I'm at school waiting for the "wonderful" bell to ring.

i love how good it feels to be done homework...

2008-10-28T23:13:00.000-07:00

... after doing if for 2 hours. For the past 2 hours, I've been having to educate myself about Phylum: Ciliophora, Zoomastigina, Sporozoa, Sacrodina, Euglenophyta, Pyrrophyta, Chrysophyta, and Slime Molds. I had to write about what they were, how they reproduced, what they eat, their functions, what they do to the body (that is if they do anything to the body). I got sick of doing the booklet right when i started. I'm not a big fan of biology, but what i am a fan of is FRENCH!! I think i finally found what i want to do after school, and that is to become a Flight Attendant, but in order to do that, i need to be bilingual in 2 languages, and i only got one..APPARENTLY!! So what i think i'm going to do, with the assistance of my mother, is go to Quebec and go to a college to teach me french (there i can also go to Africa with a group to speak more french) or else i can stay with my french twin Alexandra. Who Alexandra is?? Back in march and April, my school did a french exchange with SEVEC. It was the time of my life and i really enjoyed it and my twin and i got along great! So i'm possibly going to live with her, or else go to the college. Anyways, theres an update on me. Its really late, and i'll try and say more later, but first a picture from today. My mother bought me this GIANT BEAR! and she wants me to remember that its because she loves me and wants the best for me. Well here is my bear by the name of Brandon (she thought that it was a good name. I wonder why???)

Its actually a giant bear. Its over half the size of me, let alone 3/4ths of my body probably. and it takes up a big portion of my bed.

Don't worry people! If you are choking, having a stroke, having a baby, have something sticking out of you...

2008-10-26T23:06:00.000-07:00

... DON'T WORRY I CAN HELP YOU! I'M TRAINED IN FIRST-AID!! "Hello, Hello, can you hear me? My name is Erica Braam, I'm a trained first-aider and I'm hear to help you. Can you hear me? Can you Hear me? Hey you in the red shirt, call an ambulence, 250-638-1102 and report back to me and bring the AED!"

That is only part of what I had to do for the past 2 days. On a thursday night at Air Cadets, Our Commanding Officer asked who wanted to do first aid and i thought that i would give it a shot because it sounded fun. Well it was for most of it. I'm such a squimish person and its not even funny. After watching videos of people amputating themselves, gettting things gouged into their eyes, having someone cut open their hand, leg or head, just makes me so squimish. I'm not the best person to go to with a cut because i get to discusted, but i just need to sit for like 2 seconds and breath, then i can work on the person. At Air Cadets people always get hurt for some reason and they always come to me. When we were filling up sandbags, one girl got a shovel in her foot. Well guess who she came to?? ME! I was like, 'Oh what happened?' She went on to tell me that some one was shoveling "dirt" and they nailed her foot instead. When i first heard her tell me i thought they got the front of her foot, but no, they got her toe. It was gushing and bleeding all over the place and i was the lucky one to help her. Well after being really grossed out i managed to help her. I gently wiped down the surrounding part of her toe and then swipped her toe to get the dirt out. Then i stuck a bandaid on her toe and she was set to go. I felt proud.
Then another girl later on came to me with a sprained ankle of some sort. I had her keep it still while i put a tensor bandage on her ankle. It didn't take long until she was set to go and her foot was doing good. Thanks to my wonderful knowledge on first-aid i got through it. Hahaha, i'm such a retard, but thats okay, there are my real life first-aid storys. I just hope that i don't get people coming to me with amputated fingers or arms, because i can tell you one thing. I'll either:
a. Pass out or
b. Vomit
Its not that nice. I'm very squimish i tell you. But if its someone that really needs me i'm sure i can get over it.

pizza are the only thing i can think about right now...

2008-10-24T21:11:00.001-07:00

...maybe because I've been around them since 3:20 pm today. The youth group I go to is planning on going to Historymaker (the site is old, but you get the picture) during the May long Weekend. It is taking place in Chilliwack, BC and its a great place to be around other christians. So yeah as I was saying I was ~~sitting around~~ helping make pizzas and I was hanging out with 2 of my favorite people. One being Emily and the other Brandon. Meet Brandon (i hope you don't mind) ...

This guy is basically my bestfriend. Hes a good talker, listener, hockey volleyball basketball wakeboarding tennis badminton player (theres more, I just can't name them all), and a really good friend. If there is anything that I need help with, he is always there for me with a big smile going along with it to. Also this guy is my escort for GRAD! I'm so excited. Hes been a good friend for me for the past 3 or 4 years. Anyways, doing the pizzas we had quite a few good laughs. Everything from trying on sunglasses to argueing about ice cube trays. Okay so here is the argument we had about ice cube trays. If you and your future-husband (Romeo) walk into a store and see ice cube trays that are on sale, of course you are going to buy them and then put them in your hope box for when you get married right?? Well that is what this one girl (we'll call her Juliet) thought until Romeo told her that he wanted to use them while he was living in his parents house and Juliet said, well no we are going to use them when we get married. So Juliet asked us, 'What would you do if you were me right now? I told her that I would keep them stored away and I wouldn't use them either. Juliet told Romeo that Girls want to keep things until the wedding or when its right, and guys just want to use them right away. When we asked around, we started to prove our point. Every guy (sorry should i say man) we asked our question to, they all said, 'Oh just use them right away! What the big problem about that?' and then all the ladies said, 'Keep them stored away until you move into your own house and you're married.' So this just proved our point on how men and women think differently. Well how about a few pictures? They are very bad quality because they were taken on my phone.

I feel like a princess everytime I'm in it. In those pictures there is Marci + Pastor Lowel, Brandon, and Emily. We had alot of fun ~~hanging out~~ working tonight, but wished that it could of lasted longer. But in the end Romeo and Juliet, Emily, Brandon, Marci, Pastor Lowel, a bunch of other people, and I were really tired. It was nice to come home and eat the pizza we had worked so hard on. Now i'm going to shut my eyes and sleep because I got First-Aid in the morning. I did it before, but it expires every 2 years and its been 3 now. Ooops.

today was actually good....

2008-10-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

.. for the most part. Yesterday I was at the library studying for Biology 12 and today in 3rd block we did the biology test. We tried to do something different with me and I got the test, well questions, read to me out loud and we are seeing if that helps me more. Im excited and scared to see what i got on my test, but i hope all went good. Today i was once again at the Library. I tend to feel that that is the best place for me to go to becaus ei can actually concentrate there and its not to quite but i need abit of noise when doing my homework, which is just what the library gives me. The occasional sound will be made there, but its not that common.

As my sister says, I do like to text alot. Just today I've sent out 50 and still going on with the counting. Hhaah, yes i guess you could say that i'm an addict, but its a good addict because it still keeps you in contact with people. Its one of the ways how i can keep in contact with people, especially my sister. Growing up I've never really gotten along with them, but since around 4 years ago, i've finally gotten along with my brothers and sister. I've always had the occasional arguement that went on for forever, but now i get along with all of them. Its nice that way. But yeah, as i was saying, I talk to my sister everyday now, well since i went to regina last week. I really enjoy it because I've never talked to her everyday before. Even though texting isn't really "talking" its still a way for me to tell her how i'm doing.

Well tomorrow is another day. I can't think right now. I'll write more tomorrow. I'm leaving now because my phone is ringing. = p

Librarys are my new favorite place...

2008-10-21T19:41:00.000-07:00

... why? BECAUSE THEY ARE NICE AND QUIET! Well my house is to, but its to quiet and I need a bit of noise, but not to much. I don't know, I'm picky that way. I just found out today that I'm failing Biology 12 quite badly, so I decided that i should try and change that habit and go to the library to study. They have anything/everything there that i need to study with. Soo yes that is what i've been up to since after school.

School lately hasn't been going well. The one thing that I look forward in a day is the texts that I get from my sister after break or else after first class

"hey you, just texting to say hi and hope you have a good day!"

Ohh and may i add that I DON'T have my cell phone with me in class, but I stay the little good girl and have it in my locker. Well yeah about school, i've always been the ignored one unless i'm the one they need to pick on, and well lately i've been ignored. It kinda sucks, but the occasional day i get a friend that talks to me. Other than that, I'm a loner. School sucks that way.

Well yeah, not a nice happy post today, but I got to get back to my little cubicle and study Biology 12 vocabulary terms.

and jen, thanks for the words of encouragement. They are greatly needed for me to start out my day. LOVE YOU!!

I never knew I disliked school more until...

2008-10-20T16:03:00.000-07:00

... I got 4 biology 12 tests back and I failed them all. Its really hard to get back into the spirit of school when you try really hard in school and then all you get in return are tests that make you fail. I'm the kind of person that will know alot about the subject all until you give me a test and then I'm done for. I don't know why. My mind kind of flicks into the 'I don't want to learn' mode. At the end of the day I got the treat of taking another test, but this time in french. Another thing that really bothers me are the people who don't really pay much attention in class, are always the ones that come out with 80% - 90% on their tests. I try to pay attention, its just hard sometimes, and then the tests just make me feel even worse about myself. I still haven't gotten over it, and its been going on all my school days.

I just wish that it was all over and school was no longer needed.

finally home...

2008-10-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

... and kind of glad to. Yes it was nice seeing my sister, oldest brother, brother-in-law, sister-in-law and ALL 4 NIECES!! Yes it was great fun. This morning we had to wake up at 630. I got in a little arguement with my mom about stupid things again, but yet it always happens lately. We piled into Jens wonderful "bus" as i call it, which Noah is dying to give me (he hates mini vans) but i refuse to take. The Regina airport isn't all that exciting, but thats alright. After we went through security we sat by some french people. It was interesting hearing their conversation and actually understanding most of what they were saying. For the first good hour of the plane ride I decided to catch up on some sleep that was badly needed. It was a nice sleep I must add. I woke up to the wonderful sight of MOUNTAINS!, apple juice, and plane crackers. They were really yummy too! When we landed we had to make a pit stop at the bathroom and then we were off to find my brother and his family and my friend Wilson! Might i add that he is also asian.. tehehehe. Well here is a picture of the two of us. Meet Wilson.

Yes we are strange friends, but thats the best kind around! Hes a great friend of me that i had met this summer at camp. I told a bunch of people that I was going to vancouver and to come and meet me in the airport, and he was the only one that actually came. I was so happy to see him again. We walked for quite a while around the airport, found alot of asian people (school groups and all) and then found the Fairmont hotel in the airport and decided to steal their internet services. We took some picture, but this one is the best. We actually never took a normal picture. I always managed to ruin the picture with one of my epic faces.

me: Hey Wilson, look!! Theres your family! (pointing to a group of asian people)

wilson: Hey look, theres your brother!

me: Where??

wilson: right over there. the little white boy

me: Hey, come on now, don't be rascist.

hahah, that was pretty much one bit of one of our many conversations. Hes a fun person to hang out with and it was really great to see him.
When we got home i unpacked, tried on my dress (which i love to do. i feel like a princess in it), attempted to do Math 12 homework, and then called up a friend to hang out with and watch a movie with. We watched Legally Blonde and Legally Blonde 2. They presently rank as my top movies that I love to watch. Well its late and i feel a bit of jet lag hitting. I'm off to school again tomorrow =[ Its been a good vacation.

more shopping and this time...

2008-10-18T18:02:00.000-07:00

.... GREAT SUCCESS! We found a prom dress for me, but it just needs some alters done to it. Its a burgandy/brown colour and its really pretty. It ruffles in the bottom of it and it wasn't so expensive. Yes it wa expensive but it was less than $300. My day was good today. It started out with running to the University of Regina to catch the bus to Hotel Saskatchewan. From there we had to go to the Alcohol store with Noah so that he could buy some for his work, might I add that it wasn't for him but for the hotel. Then we went home and then went and looked for Prom dresses. We found a beautiful one for $450 and it was violet red (in other words, it was a nice pink), but due to the price, I wasn't aloud to get it. Then we went back home, got a bottle and sucky and blanket for Liliana and then we were off again. We decided to get a treat from Dairy Queen and they totally flunked on our order. They gave my sister a double patty bacon flamethrower when she wanted a chicken flame thrower. Then she wanted ice tea, and they totally forgot it and so did we until we had driven out of the parking lot. Lammme. Then we headed off to Caronport where we had met up with my friend Andrew and we walked ALL around Caronport. I never knew that it was so small until we had walked around it. It took about 30 minutes to do it. We could of done it faster, but we had Liliana who was keeping us from going faster. Then we walked around Briercrest and had a jolly old good time. After words we had to go and take pictures by the sign and then we were off on our adventure again back to Regina, with a stop in Moose JAW to look for a grad dress, WHICH I FOUND ONE!! So yeah, my dad was really fun. Liliana actually wasnt' that bad, yes she had her times, but was good for quite a bit of it.

Well now I'm sitting on my sisters couch and this is where I'm going to stay I think, well at least for a bit. I'm watching Football with my brother-in-law Noah and listening to Calibria 2007 get played every 5 minutes when my friends text my phone =]

friends make me laugh...

2008-10-17T21:58:00.000-07:00

... when they say wierd things

courtney: YOU'RE IN REGINA!
me: that I am. I'm visiting my sister
courtney: thats awesome! Where is that? haha
me: In saskatchewan
courtney:ohhh i thought it was in china or something

hahahahha oh some people just aren't the smartest people ever

tours tend to be one of my favorite things....

2008-10-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

... well I guess they have to be if i'm with my mom. If there is an old building to see, my mom will do her best to make us see it. On a drive to Jens house from the GLORIOUS mall, my moms historic building eye caught sight of the legislative buildings. From then on we had to go and visit them and today happened to be the day. We drove there with a happy baby and left with unhappy, cranky, in need of a nap baby. The tour was nice, but she just shreeeked if we told her that she couldn't go into a room or else go on the old chairs that were articats. One thing that was good about the tour, is that our tour guide was a nice person. If she was rude, I'm pretty sure something bad would of happened. Well off we went on our tour. Did you know that there were over 30 different kinds of marble used in this building?? And then one the guys who build the building (the ____ brothers, shows how much I was paying attention) used only 10 tooles to carve out the wonderful designs?!?! He has skill I tell you. Then she brought us to the center of the building where Napoleon Bonapart had had a section made for him where he could lye down in the center of the circle and people would have to bow down to him. Selfish man I tell you. Also when you stood exactly in the center of the circle, your voice would echo but when you went to the outside of the circle/box your voice was completely normal. Its kinda wierd that way. When you turned around there were 3 paintings of important people that no matter where you went in the room, their eyes would follow you. It wierds me out when paintings/pictures can do that. After our tour I decided to take Liliana outside to keep her away from the gift shop where she could break everything in sight. We walked around, she went to the snow and just stared at it and then turned around. We found her mom and went over to her. When I held onto Lilianas hands she punged down the stairs. If I wasn't holding on to her, she would of really got hurt. We piled back into Jens wonderful van and we were off to the Mall. Oh how I love that mall. Today I went to American Eagle and got 2 shirts, one for me and one for a friend. Then we had to meet Jen on the sidewalk to get picked up.

So we piled back into the Van and we were off to the house again. My mom wanted to get a shirt from a fire station so they went off while I stayed at home with Liliana as she slept. When she woke up she was in a good mood. She was still a big tired I could tell because she actually let me cuddle with her. THIS WAS A FIRST! Normally when anyone tries to cuddle with her she screems until you put her down and then she is fine, most of the time. Then they came back, Kaylie came home from school, and then we were off to the museum. It was an awesome museum. I'm totally not a fan of them, but this one I actually liked. Look on Facebook and you can see more pictures of the museum. Then we came home and now we are here. SItting on the ground, me blogging, Kaylie and my mom having a picnic on the table eating pizza which I'm soon to eat, Jen on the computer eating Bits & Bites, and Liliana was watching Baby Einstein but then saw that my mom had food and then started to attack her wanting the food. Well my pizza is waiting, until next time, keep safe and have fun.

been a long time since I've blogged....

2008-10-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

... so long that I deleted the other posts. I know I hardly had blogged, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep this blog up. I don't know how long it will last, but I'm hoping for a long time.

So my life in the past little while has been full of wonders. This past weekend I was at an Air Cadet sports weekend. We went to Kleanza creek, pitched tents, and then had to eat IMPs. I got a vegetarian meal and it tasted alright, but still not the greatest. They all taste like cat food to me and no matter how much I tell myself that its all I'm going to be eating for the next 3 days and they actually aren't cat food, I still can't get over it. This year we got a treat of having new IMPs that are from 2008 instead of 2000. They say that they are good for up to 7 years, but I beg to differ. They are nasty. So we played many games and did many classes. One of the games was pilot down. What we had to do was search for hours in the bush for 2 people. They had different problems with them. One of them was in sever shock and the other one had a broken neck, leg, and a fractured rib. When we found them we had to do "first-aid" on them and then bring them back to the campsite. Here is Mr. Phillips. He was the severally hurt one. We almost

dropped him a few times but we got him back safe and then his wife had to "revive" him. After a few kisses he was back to his normal health. It was quite funny seeing him like how he was. After kicking him a few times and yelling at him, I decided to do CPR on him, minus the breathing, but I did the pinch and shout, and everything else. It was actually really funny because if it was to happen, I would of killed him. But here are some pictures of the children that I had to take care of the whole weekend.

So the picture above is of 2 people that decided to wrestle and it ended up with them dragging eachother in to the bush and then one grabbing onto the tree for dear life hopeing that he wouldn't be dragged into the bush of dooom. It was a really fun weekend in the end of it. We had some ups and downs during it, but over all it was fun.

Now I am in Regina. We arrived yesterday at 3:45 pm and then went to my sister Jens house and then just sat around watching TV and movies on her movie channel. After a while I went with Jen to go and pick up Noah from Work and bring him to the Library. The library is so nice and big. I never got a chance to go inside but the outside is just to wonderful for words. After that I watched, The Pursuit of Happyness. It now ranks as one of my favorite movies to watch. This morning I woke up at 9:00 and then ate breakfast. My sister takes care of a little boy named Carsen. He is a very layed back little boy and really easy to take care of, besides when he

screams bloody murder. As you can see in the picture, hes very layed back. He gets bullied quite abit by my little angel of a niece Liliana. Her theory is, if i want it, I'm going to get it and if he has something, he must share, but I don't have to. Shes not very nice that way, but other than that, shes fine. Today we went shopping with the 2 little ones. We hit the Cornwall Center we managed to do a bit of shopping for ourselves until we saw THE CHILDRENS PLACE! I pretty much love that store now. The clothes are so cute and we managed to find quite a few outfits for the neices from my mom. I found outfits that I really wanted to buy for my nieces, but the outfits were way to expensive for buy 4 of each thing. The sweater was really cute and it went really good with a white vest. After shopping for "so long" according to the babies, so we had to go home. After their naps, lunch, making of supper, eating supper, having Carsen picked up, we went back out shopping, but this time with Kaylie, due to her being at school when we first went. We managed to hit Michaels and Old Navy. While mom was shopping at Michaels, Jen and I went to Old Navy to hit the sale racks with a very cranky baby. Mom bought some flower things and more christmas presents, Jen bought herself and Kaylie some clothes, me a merry happy birthdaychristmas present, and I bought a sweater and a t-shirt. Then we piled back into Jens wonderful MINI VAN! and hit JYSK. I pretty much love that store and would love it more if I had alot of money. We stuck Liliana in the cart and started trecking around JYSK looking for things to buy. I decided to take Kaylie and Liliana with me. We went around looking for a douvet cover, I managed to find one, and Kaylie and Liliana had found some horses so we put them in the cart and kept on looking. After a bit I stuck Kaylie in the cart so that she didn't have to walk everywhere. We managed to find the most awesome bed/desk ever. It was like an office undernieth and a bed over top. It was so cool, so we had to stop and then let Kaylie take a picture of me. She is actually a really good photographer. When we were about to leave Kaylie really wanted to keep her horse, so I decided that I would get her the brown horse and Liliana the unicorn since I hadn't bought them anything for christmas, so what the heck, I bought them. Kaylie loves hers and Liliana has an attitude about it like, oh its not at the store anymore, I don't totally love it as much. Well when Christmas comes around, she'll love it again. She seems to do that alot i guess. After that we went back to Jens appartment and then put Liliana to bed while we watched Survivor and now watching Into the Wild. Well that is my life this past week. I'll try and keep this blog up to date with my life.